Toasted Mallow Cupcakery
Address: 1034 N Gilbert Rd #3, Gilbert, AZ 85234
Phone: +1(480) 686-9071 // thetoastedmallow.com
FINALLY… I have come back to layeth the reviews down on this candy ass website!
It’s been almost a year since I’ve done anything on here.
I wish I could tell you it’s because I’ve been stockpiling milkshakes to review from all over the world. But that’s not true. Life gets in the way sometimes, and, let’s be honest, milkshakes aren’t the healthiest things for you.
However, my milkshake journey continues just a few months after where we left off last time… in August of 2023.
I flew out to Phoenix, AZ with a couple of friends to visit our other dear friends and the surrounding area. We stopped by the Grand Canyon and Sedona, laid out by the pool, went to a couple cool breweries and restaurants, and of course, I needed to tack on a milkshake.
After visiting a strip mall one day in Gilbert, I begged my friends to make a quick stop at nearby Toasted Mallow Cupcakery. They begrudgingly obliged, and we were on our way.
Toasted Mallow was located in a tiny storefront in a retail area. I was excited to try my first Arizona shake, and these ones were supposed to be special. Toasted Mallow’s signature feature to some of their products is a toasted marshmallow they add. I went with a Bam Bam strawberry milkshake to-go, and went on my way ($8.99/16 oz.).
I don’t remember if I expected only a toasted marshmallow on a stick, as pictured above. But what I did not expect that’s hard to see in the photo is the giant ball of marshmallow sitting just under the whipped cream.
At first, I thought this was an interesting concept. I’d never seen or heard of this in a milkshake before, so why not try it out, right? Wrong.
The marshmallow inside the otherwise delicious-looking shake made it incredibly hard to drink. Not only that, there was just too much sugar. I know, I know. It’s a milkshake. It’s going to be sweet. But this made me feel like every sip was bringing me closer to developing diabetes. What little strawberry flavor I did get was masked by a bombardment of marshmallow, whipped cream, and sprinkles.
Drinking this shake is like getting off the plane in Phoenix and catching that first hot, dry blast of air that leaves you gasping for breath. If you’re not used to it, it’s an unpleasant wakeup call to your internal organs that says: Like it or not, you’re in the desert now. If you’re accustomed to it, maybe it’s like a warm hug? Maybe this shake is like that for people who enjoy really thick, and I mean THICC, milkshakes.
I certainly did not enjoy this one. To make matters worse, I was keeled over on the couch at my buddy’s house shortly after with a stomach ache. Could it have been the overbearing heat and sun? Perhaps, but this shake didn’t do me any favors.
The one redeeming quality of this shake was its presentation. The cup, logo, and overall formation of this shake – from the Fruity Pebbles sprinkles and color, to the straw and whipped cream, made it look appealing. But don’t let Toasted Mallow fool you. I do not recommend these as they are made. Take out the giant ball of fluff in the middle, then we’ll talk.
Final Verdict: 1/5 Rattles
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Big shoutout to Bryan, Norma, Ben, Carl, Kaelyn, and Dave for the hangs! It was so good to catchup with everyone and another shoutout to Bryan and Norma for the hospitality. Although this shake was garbage, this trip was not!
Shake, Rattle & Write 